My brain was even more overloaded as the reality of it hit me.I'd lived this exact scene before and FAILED to survive. In a moment I would be dead ......again.In fact my deadness would lead to all sorts of aliveness, which, if history really is repeating itself, would lead to a lot more deadness.So ... though I was alive, right now, I would be very dead in just a few moments.Really. Truly. Dead.R.T.D.The impact was even worse than I remembered. Of course I was remembering things that were. A sophisticated and un-tart-like whore, whom I paid for sex, paid to punish me for being alive. Who as far as could tell thought next to nothing of me, and treated me like a piece of meat when I was in her presence. Perhaps this would be the last time ... I sang the old Stones song to myself to keep the tears at bay. But the song said 'Last time maybe, I don't know, ' and I didn't. I didn't know anything worth knowing; I didn't know myself, or my own mind.Thoughts of suicide were becoming more. We took off on the road again and headed for home . "ooh ahh baby that feels awesome!!" "ooh suck it baby ! oh yeah " .She kept right sucking harder and I explodes it all right into her hot mouth just as we were pulling up into the driveway.where home honey so soon ? yes , I see you have company waiting . hey there Jackie rushed right over to the car she blushed. Hey Amanda put some cloths on will ya she laughed . I see you got a mouth full I was not much better my pants were still undone and. Do you understand!"I nodded.She gripped me tight and shook me."Yes ma'am," I cried."That little pecker will sit tight inside your panties for now. But asyou get older we'll have to figure some way to hide it out the way.There's ways of doin' that; I saw them lady-boys on the TV and I swearyou wouldn't know they was packing heat in their drawers," she laughedand coughed out a plume of smoke.She gripped me tight and pulled my face close until it was only an inchfrom hers."Your name is Sarah. You.
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