Ben did make certain that everyone knew this fact, once he had learned it himself.The trip westward was long, tiring, and for the most part uneventful... They rose well before dawn so that they could have breakfast made and eaten before it was time to pull out. The men and boys made certain that all the mules were hitched to the wagons, and all the livestock was tied to stringers so that they could be led along as the wagons rolled forward. Ben and Running Dog scouted the trail ahead each day,. They always asked me if I needed it and they were always nice. The eldest, John was 39 years old and took me almost like a son: he prepared me to eat and we had interesting conversations.Most night the boys would gather to smoke a joint and drink beers. At first I would lock myself in the room because I didn't like those things, I was shy and I didn't want to disturb them. But one night John knocked on the door while I was having a saw. I opened a little scared, maybe they had heard me anxious. "Are we friends, again?" she asked."Yeah. We're friends, Nan. I'm sorry, too." He pulled his head freeand looked up into his older sister's eyes. "Do you forgive me forlooking like you?"She smiled. "Johnny, I've been thinking about this since I left. Isurprised by all of this, but I was also an asshole. I shouldn't havejudged you like I did."He shrugged. "Ok." Ok? Isn't this where you're supposed to say, 'No, Nancy, you weren'tbeing an asshole?'"He shrugged again, "Mom told me never to. From my perspective, that seemed like a bad idea, but then again, I was probably a bad judge because I’d personally made that impossible for more than a dozen girls. Granted, they had wanted to do it, but I could see how people might put the blame on me. Joyce did, to some extent. That just drove home the fact that I was totally out of my depth here.“You should have told me when we started going out. I know how to follow limits. I know what ‘no’ means.”“It’s too late,” Annie said with.
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