Instead, I turned on the bedside lamp and its soft hue cast a glow around the bedroom: a soft lighting to hide the harshness of my grief and despair.J...rmaine sat on the edge of the bed and clasped his hands between his knees. His broad shoulders and back were evidently rigid with tension.‘I know it isn’t easy,’ he finally started. ‘I guess we both have days where we need to try and muddle through and make the best of the cards we’ve been dealt. You know, don’t you, that your Mum wouldn’t want. ’ ‘I don’t know,’ I said. ‘Maybe this isn’t such a good idea.’ ‘Marri, it’s just a job! Once you’ve got your masters, you’re done. Or even before that. They only want you to sign a one-month contract at a time. You’re not going to get a better deal anywhere else. Believe me, I’ve looked. You get all of the days to yourself, plus one weeknight and one weekend night off. Just go talk to them. Trust me.’ ‘All right.’ We pulled into the driveway and I tried to calm down. She was right about one. .. tossing and turning, my mind just seemed like it wouldn't shut off. I just couldn't stop thinking about him.Brian was my boyfriend of seven years, and I couldn't get him off of my mind. I loved him dearly but I was starting to feel that after a sexless seven years, he was starting to fall out of love with me. You see, we are both practicing Mormons, and we both agreed that we wouldn't have sex until marriage.I am still a virgin, and I believe that he is too, but I know how men are especially. As the party continued to dwindle, only a few of us remained. We headed inside to play King's Cup, and when it got to my turn to make a rule, I naturally decided that whenever you had to take a drink, you must also remove an article of clothing. Within a matter of minutes, Rachel, Tiffany, and myself were all completely naked. I'd known Rachel for a few years at this point and I'd always been curious about what was under her clothes. We'd partied together several times, but it never had reached.
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