I fear what temptations I would have, I could undo the separation. I could heal myself. Become whole. Yet, within my soul, I know that that option is ...ot. The flow of self-depreciating sadness moving across each numb nerve with the quiet coldness of ice, numbing my heart to what I have been part of, have seen. As tempting, in its own way, as the power I could open myself to. I choose. There really was not much of a choice, the decision made in an instant. I rein in my mind and flow, not. I imagined then that her ass would even more smooth and soft but firm and toned as her calves and thighs. There was an unbearable urge to put my hands on them and caress them.I looked up and saw that she was wearing a similar cotton top with her face with turned away from the edge of the bed. I leaned to look at her face and still remember how cute she looked even when she was fast asleep.She had chubby cheeks then, the only thing I never liked about herself. And I noticed then that she had. . So as i was laying down receiving the BJ i started talking dirty saying things like"u like that dont ya bitch, suck on it tell me how much of a whore you are" she responded by licking and telling me she loves cock, and just trying to get me off. I then say"SUCK MY DICK LIKE THE 3 DOLLAR WHORE YOU ARE DO IT GOOD BITCH PROVE THIS IS WHY YOU'RE ON THE EARTH! TO SERVE MEN NOW EARN YOUR FUCKING MONEY!" She stopped and started to cry again and told me she couldnt handle knowing shes sucking me off. She was free to peruse whatever video she wanted or do whatever she wanted for that matter. She could strut around naked in her room all day and no one would care, but Jennifer was too self conscious to even attempt something like that. She would even wait until it was past midnight before she would use the communal showers out of fear for being seen. Being caught watching sapphic sexual wrestling would have been devastating to her psyche. Her nerves were on edge. She was convinced someone was.
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