She teared up and looked at the ceiling."It's not fair," she said as she sobbed softly at the guilt she nowfelt over her conflicting feelings. "It's n...t him wanting to wear thedress and look like a woman, so why do I feel like this?" she scoldedherself again. "It's not my fault either that I feel this way."Dexter slept quietly beside her totally unaware of the inner emotionalstruggle she was having about him and his looming. I noticed also that the ‘Holy Rollers’ table had only four or five people, including Kara, where they’d had twelve last quarter. It was almost as if whoever made the schedules was working against all of us.After school, I dropped the girls at home and went to my appointment with Doctor Mercer. She was, once again, happy with my progress, but given the way things had gone before, she wanted to keep seeing me for several more weeks. I laughed at her comment and readily agreed because she was. It's the middle of summer and I'm in tight shorts and a bikini top. I see a car I don't recognise pull up and a man step out. He is very ordinary looking, not particularly muscly or handsome. You could say he is very plain.He storms up to her front door and bangs on it, shouting for her to come out. She opens the door and lets him in. I watch through the window and see them argue. He raises a hand to her and I'm up. I run through our garden and burst through her front door surprising them.. She told me it will grow less each time. There is a higher power that wants you toatone for your past. I think each time you help a person here, nomatter how much it hurts you, balances the scales in your favor. Muchof what you did in your past, has been forgiven."Larry said, "Thank you Belle. That makes me want to try harder eachtime. I know between Helga, Nicole and you, I can make it."Belle said, "Hang in there and you will make it."Larry and Belle went on talking, but I tuned them out. I.
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