Someday I’m going to have to write a book: Zen and the Art of Elimination. I usually mediated when I took a dump. Hey, we’ve got to think of somet...ing when we do our business. I figured I might as well use the process of voiding to find enlightenment along with relief.The morning chill had left the potty seat so cold my balls wanted to climb back inside my body. I squirmed and tried to find a warm spot as shivers ran up my spine and rattled my teeth. What the fuck happened last night? How did I. "Shit! I mentioned the W word."The door burst open and four stone of hairy affection sprang onto the bed. Battling his dog for supremacy of the mattress, Don was soon covered in loose dog hair and slobber. "Get off me, you smelly bastard." He pushed the Labrador on its black silky flank with both hands, sending it tumbling off the bed. However, the dog hadn't given up on its walk. Clamping its teeth on to the duvet, the dog sunk low onto his haunches and back pedalled, pulling the duvet from. I yelled to my mom where we were going. She acknowledged me, but said nothing further, not even asking if we'd be back for supper.His mother was waiting for us, of course, sitting in that favorite chair of hers, reading a book. She looked up when we came in. I looked helpless, and Scott looked unhappy."Sit down," she said. She didn't specify who should sit where.We both sat on the couch, directly across from her. I wondered if I should go to be beside her, but there was no place by her to sit,. But instead you wereblessed. That concoction not only saved your life, it also disguisedyou. No one has to know what really happened to Myron." Too many people already know!" Some people had to be told. I needed advice when the doctor foundout he couldn't help you. They're good people, and I think they willbe able to help you settle in without causing any suspicion. I won'ttell anyone else, and I certainly hope that you don't accidentally letanyone know."Myra let out a frustrated.
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