I was scared out of my mind, but I just lay there quietly… I didn’t want to take it back now… I heard you leave the bedroom; you shut the door b...hind you. I lay there in the silence, terrible thoughts running rampant through my head. I heard you open the front door, and I heard your voice… then someone else’s. I couldn’t make out what you were saying. Suddenly you quieted a bit, your voice was low and serious. I wished I knew what you were saying. Suddenly I heard the bedroom door open, I heard. .. whatever this was, wasn't good."Five," the orderly said waiting just inside of the infirmary."Five," the guard answered as all five inmates walked into theinfirmary single file."You first," the orderly said to John. John, at a nod from the guard,moved to a bed at the end of the room. John walked forward leaving theother four standing where he'd been and in single file still.There was no doubt what was going to happen as the orderly opened alarge double door cabinet. Diapers, John mused. “Very good, Andrew,” Kerry continued. “And how did it make you feel?”I thought for a second. “Amazing,” I offered.“Amazing in what way?” Kerry inquired.“Well, I love how the stretchy, lacy fabric feels against my skin.” Kerry took a half step toward me, so that he was now just one arm’s length from me. “And?” he asked.“And,” I continued, “the way the garter straps pull at the tops of the stockings. It is so . . . so intoxicating.”“Yes,” Kerry responded, pausing, obviously waiting for. Many nights, I thought about what it would be like to kiss her thin lips and encourage her to bare herself to me. I would masturbate to the thought of her slipping her arms through the straps of her red suit, baring her breasts and pulling my mouth down to suckle. In the four years that I had known her, that never happened. We joked around a lot, poked fun at each other, touched each other's arms, demonstrated life-saving holds and releases on each other, sat next to one another and over time.
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