She was terrified, and it was my fault.Ruth came to help, but I got myself into this mess, and was determined to dig my way out. I pulled Marian onto ...y lap and sat us both on the nearest sofa, stroking her face, kissing her neck and cheeks, and gently promising to never scare her with that specific threat again.When she had control of herself, she turned to me and through her tears said, "My father used to spank my mother and me. He loved to call us into the front room and make mother undress. The blood tells me. I stop and listen to my blood. It is the first voice I have heard in days, months, centuries. It tells me secrets about myself, things I never wanted to know. Falling to my knees I begin to cry. Only the gulls answer me. I sit and stare across the water. On some shore I cannot see across the blue waste of water lies a place that once may have been home. I try to remember what it was like there, what I did, who I loved. I almost remember when my wounds reopen and I allow. I found a modest motel to spend the night and slept more soundly than I had in some time. It was a warning to me not to overdo my efforts. I wasn't quite ready to push myself.It took some time to get through the Chicago area traffic the next morning, even though I left after nine o'clock. I was hoping the worst of rush hour would be done with. I shortened the day at Lafayette, Indiana, making the final run to Louisville an easy one. I would arrive at Diane's place around five in the afternoon,. SoonPaul was changed into a blue and green colorful blouse with a light greenblazer, skirt and white open toe heels."You okay?" his mom asked as he came out of his room after changing."I've worn the same size shoes for years, but now this pair seems big forme," Paul said as he sat on the couch with his legs crossed and tiredsome crackers and cheese."Nonsense, people's feet don't shrink," his mom assured Paul. "They musthave marked the shoes the wrong size at the store or anything." I guess.".
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