Put my hand around her waist and hers around my neck. We kissed passionately and gently. Not much lust in the kisses. She smiled again. “ thank you ...aba… this was amazing.. Let’s keep this to us ok.. Please.. Don’t do anything to what we have between us… I love you..”. I could see her emotions getting serious. “ are you coming again son? If you don’t, that’s ok. But anytime you want, come ok. I don’t know how good I am for you. But you can do anything with me ok.. Come again..”We kissed again.. As i watched the stairwell intently, i watched as the lights upstairs flicked off, leaving the only light coming from my room to seep into the new darkness. I turned a movie on on my t.v. just so no one would hear any noises upstairs, went and sat at my computer and put my headphones in.I peered at my screensaver and got lost in a short thought, "How did it happen that i have to resort to this?". On the screensaver was a picture of me from a few days ago. My long, red, wavy hair slightly. Zakir ne munna thakur ke ghar pe nazar rkhne ka plan soch rkha tha.Agle din zakir gldi h office chala gya.Mai jb bhar ghumne gye toh 2 police offiecrs mere sath chalne lge mane unsse pucha toh unhone btaya shaab ne apke sath rhne ko bola tha. Mai smjh gye thi zakir v dura hua h or meri fekr v hai usko esi liya police officers meri protection ke liya lgaye h undono officer ke age lg-bhg 35-40saal hoge bechare apne mrdaangi se mjbur the bar-bar mere body ko h dekh rhe the mgr mane kuch kha ni. A part of me wants to smack me for feeling this way. I linger over the sensation that I can still trust you with my whole being, and the sensation that it is the right thing to do. I am living a lie. Everyday that goes by, I know that I have only hastily tried to patch my world together and keep moving forward, but that I am carrying a flame for someone else. Even if you are secretly laughing at me, I’ve been warned before that I am not truly happy with the one who loves me. I am safer in this.
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