.. I can't do it. I'm not ready yet... please don't... please, it's going to hurt... I'll do anything, just don't..." "But you said that this is what ...ou wanted. You told me that you wanted me to hurt you... that you *needed* for me to hurt you. Catharsis and all that... remember that conversation?" I crack the whip against my leg for emphasis. "Yes. I remember it and I still want it and I want you to hurt me but I'm scared I'm scared I'm scared..." Your voice keeps ramping up in pitch, and I'm. I felt so used, like a toy. I tried to filter out the thoughts in my head, my own voice being mumbled but as I focused I realised it was the shop assistant saying something I could barely compute. “ok I’m going to come in and check if you’re ok madam”.I tried to murmur a “no please don’t” but nothing came out and she was already opening the curtain and asking me what had happened. I didn’t know what to say, I looked at myself in the mirror trying to imagine how I could lie or what she must be. He immediately noticed how tense I was, the shoulder and back muscles rigid. “You need to relax. I’ll put some music on.”He went to a machine and soft music began to play. I willed myself to relax, and his hands swirled over my back, down to the base of the spine, over the buttocks, down the outer side of the legs, to my feet. It was very pleasant, soothing. Then he moved my legs slightly apart so he had access to the inner leg and thighs. I knew he could see my sex. I began to tremble. Go see the game first.”Jamie and I went back on patrol for another hour before returning to the station for end of shift. I went over to my parents at that point and picked up the kids. After day care and school, Mom or Dad would take care of them for a few hours until either Kelly or I could pick them up. Kelly had an evening seminar, so I drove them home and started baths. Riley was very good; Seamus was a pain. Welcome to the Terrible Twos. Kelly got home just as I was getting ready to dry.
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