" Just one glass, it won't make a difference."Throughout my short conversation with Kristy I noticed the waiter kept looking at her breasts which were...outlined in her skimpy top. It sort of made me a little jealous, not once did he look at me!"Ok, just one glass. We'll take two glasses of red wine," I said to him."Can I see your ID," Again he only looked at Kristy."Ahh, the wine is for my Mom," Kristy answered quickly."Oh, Ok. In that case, two glasses of wine coming right up."He gave Kristy. My girlfriend and I have different ideas as to what the problem is: she bought me some Viagra and I bought her a treadmill.Three guys travel to Saudi Arabia and get lost. They walk into a tent that they think was the one they rented, but actually belongs to a prince with 3 hot wives. The prince comes home and thinks his wives are cheating on him. As a punishment, he tells them that their penises will have to be cut off in some way relating to their occupation.He asks the first guy what his job. Doug was been married to his wife Nancy, and had a couple of kids as well. Nancy and Tammy used to get along years ago, but since Tammy had changed so did their friendship. Don't get me wrong, Tammy has her good moments too, they are just a lot more rare than they used to be... I don't mean to paint her as completely insufferable, although Doug would argue that it's the case. One day while at work, Doug and I were messaging back and forth about the upcoming football game Sunday, and I was. “Don’t need it,” he said. “I got a knife.” He pulled it from a sheath on his belt. It was the biggest, shiniest, evilest looking bowie knife I had ever seen.Remember the knife in Rambo? ... pfft ... nothing! Remember the knife in Crocodile Dundee? Pffft ... less than nothing.The blade on this thing had to be two feet long and about 4 inches wide. The spine was serrated and the first four inches of the top of the blade was sharpened as well as the bottom edge.The blade gleamed as if it was sharp.
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