I needed to stop sponging off my folks and get a job. I also needed to move out and get a place of my own. I'd be turning twenty-one that summer and i... was time. I got off my ass and started to search the internet for what I needed, just to see what it would take.Our local newspaper had a web site that included want-ads. I pulled it up and looked under help wanted. Not too much there. Then I saw something that made me think. There was an ad for a service station attendant. It was a full time. Kano naa ohh sofar upore paa tule bose chilo jate orr puro panti beriya pore chilo kintu orr kono hush chilo naa….Nana kothar modheye diya ami oke jiesh korlam….acha supporna tumi eto din sex koroni tomar kono asubidhe hoy naa…tomar chodon khete iche kore naa…ohh nirdhidhai bollo je kore toh…tai barithe sob somy begun naa hole potol kine rakhi….ami naa hese thakte parlam naa…tar por hothat kore ohh amake bollo jano riya tomake kub pachondo…se tomke diye chodate chaito….taa tumi korecho naki orr. One day my uncle met with an accident and we had to hurry to Surat to see him…dad was not in town and my brother had an exam so it left only me and my mom. I was about 22 years old then and my mom was 40 years old as she got married when she was just 16 years old. So it left only me and my mom to visit their place. As it was Dial time and we could not get any reservation and we had catch general compartment and you know how crowded the trains are during peak season.We both went to the station;. [Name Redacted]. He said it soundedlike I might have gender dysphoria. I fuckin' walked out. I'm not a [SlurRedacted], I'm a man!DAY 34Felt like shit again. Dr. [Name Redacted] called, and I set up anotherappointment. Maybe he's right. I've been looking online and the symptomsfit.DAY 35Second appointment with Dr. [Name Redacted]. I think he's right. I'vespent so long trying to prove myself, scared of what I think I alwaysknew, deep down. I've been playing a part, trying to be what I think aman.
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