She’s a great person, but we don’t really have a lot in common.”“Oh, ok, so who?” Jess asked, confused. Emma nodded toward me.“Aaron,” E...ma said flatly.“Huh?” Jess and I said in unison.“You have both been amazing friends to me and amazingly supportive. And I want both of you to be there for me for my wedding,” Emma said.“Em,” I said, “I am, uh, flattered and all, but you know I’m, like, a guy? I mean, I’m pretty sure you’ve seen, and played with, the proof.”Emma waved off my objection. “So. ’ He watches for women who have missed the bus, are crying, have fallen on the ice. He’s a regular white knight. He helps them. Gives them a lift home. Never makes a pass or an inappropriate suggestion. They learn to think of him as safe. Then when they really need something, they call on good old Ernie. When they ask for help, he charges. When he just offers help on the street, it is strictly benign.”“That’s so insidious,” I said. It made my flesh crawl.“Over there. That’s worse,” Les said. I knew the exact moment she sat on that bicycle seat because; I was pushed even further into her heavenly ass. It was not long after her ride began, she started to sweat, and the bike riding got her farting. It seemed that with each pedal she farted. After the bike ride we finally got back to her place, she came in the house and sat on the couch. I hope you didn’t expect me to let you out just yet, I have so much more planned for you today. She just wiggled on the couch and farted some. ”“You use it!”“I do with you and nobody else. But it’s not you, Steve. In fact, right now, you aren’t you. You’re like some alien that showed up in Steve Adams’ body. I don’t like it at all.”“So you wanted to come in here and make love with an alien?” I asked with a smirk.“No, I wanted to knock some sense into you. I thought maybe, just maybe, making love would snap you out of this. You’ve done a lot of fucking this week, but you haven’t made love a single time, I’m sure. Well, maybe to.
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