We went west on the subway tothe and then a short walk her apartment. We sat down in her living room and she gave a shopping bag with her oldpanties a...d bra. She said that I could leave now if wanted and take theold lingerie — or I could stay. If I stayed I would need to follow herevery order. Of course, I stayed and she gave me a little drink of brandy — for my‘courage’. We went into her bedroom and she said: “Strip to your underwear. Takethe old panties out of the bag and kiss the crotch.. .. she turned around and straddled me... I reached to mytrousers and got the condoms out of my pocket... I opened one... she squatted down on my legs and took the condon off me... slowly she licked my still sticky semi hard cock until it was rigid again... she rolled the condom onto my dick... I thought she was going to climb onto my shaft but she moved further up mu body until she sat over my face... she lowered her sweet smelling, moist pussy onto my face... I felt buried in mer muff... my. Do you think you've reconnected with and repaired your past?I've reconnected with my past. Repaired it? No. Some repairs have been made, but I'm not cured, Josh. Still, I think I can join the living now. Will I repair my past? I don't know. Some of it is repairable, other parts - fuck it, I say. Let it lay.I could feel her grin. I was proud of her.What about your lost years? Josh asked.Lost years?Yes, those years when you couldn't maintain personal relationships, even friendships, the years. The reason for myself hatred was I subconsciously knew that it was impossible for me toever be the person I was meant to be.This self hate made me unsure of myself so I became shy and reclusive.Then blend that in with the stigmas, of being a foster, my hulky size, myclumsy awkwardness, and my old victim's personality, no wonder I caughthell at high school. I could have wore a sandwich board sign that said"ABUSE ME PLEASE" and not been treated any different.Not wanting to linger on my past pain.
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