"RYAN. Look at my eyes please." I told you it was gonna be difficult to pay attention. Finally, I looked up. "Do you want to do it to her so she'll be...a better fuck for you later? Or do you want to do it FOR her, to totally bliss her out. To give her so much pleasure she can't stand it anymore. Are you trying to do it to make yourself feel like a bigger stud? Or do you want to do it for her, an unselfish way to pay her back for all the nice things she's ever done for you?"Being a stud isn't. ”“That’s… enviable.” She didn’t look sleep-deprived.“And what about you? You say you’ve been working on your story non-stop, but lately, you've been staying up with me.” “Great detective work.” She grinned at the recycled words. “I’ve just uh, I’ve had insomnia for the last few months.”“You didn’t say that when we first met,” she accused, “I thought you favored honesty?”“I thought you did, too,” I retorted.“What am I not being honest about?” Her teasing tone held some sobriety.I walked around. And, you believe that?I dont know s*s. I know that sex has brought me nothing but pain and sorrow. I know that Teds problems with sex have led me to these drastic measures in an effort to provide me what I want from life. I know that I feel terrible guilt and remorse when I think about sex. It is hard for me to see anything good that comes from sex in my life.A period of silence followed.I guess I see your point, replied Ann, but you should know that sex can be the most joyous and. Not a glimpse in their parents imagination. I was living in California. A little town between Los Angeles and San Francisco. Just north of where Highway 1 and Pacific Coast Highway split. A little coastal community of fishermen, and artists, and of course the 2nd industry there, tourists.I lived on a small religious commune. That's right, I was a single guy living on a commune full of Holy Rollers. Pentecostals. You, know, the ones singing in 'Tongues', prayer sessions every night, and yes,.
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