I don't have a problem with minor typos and more obscure grammatical errors, but you should always use capital letters at the beginning of a sentence,...for proper nouns, and the word "I". Try not to use tense shifting, it's one of my pet peeves. Tense shifting is when you start a chapter in one tense and suddenly shift to another at a random point for no reason. As a general rule, this story is in present tense, unless you are using a flashback.Keep in mind that this story should be in second. The two young shop lads reappeared as we made it to the top of the aisle. It was a bit exposed at this point, being near to the checkout area and a bit more open. I wiggled my way carefully, trying not to expose too much. Frank later informed me that the man with his wife again was sneaking looks at me at every opportunity.Once safely into an empty aisle I continued my teasing. The two young lads appeared at the end of the aisle. I made a meal of reaching over into one of the freezers, showing. I made myself keep going, to a point just short of gagging (thank God for my lack of gag reflex!), until my lips were wrapped tightly around the base. I pushed my head forward a couple of times, grinding his cock into my throat, feeling it spasm around the familiar pleasant invasion. As I forced my tongue out, licking his balls, I could hear him give an audible moan, and, at the same time, he pushed his hips up into my face, pressing even more tightly into my throat.His sounds of pleasure,. Suru main thora dard hoga par sah lena phir maine dhire dhire ghusana suru kiya aur phir ek zordar dhakka mara mera aadha lund uske chut main ghush gaya wo puri tara chik baithi main der gaya.Phir maine use sidha kiya aur uspe let gaya aur uske muh pe apna muh dal ke uska muh band kiya. Phir maine uiaske chut main apni lund ghusa di aur phir ek zoor dar dhakka mara wo puri zoor se chikna chahi par chik nahi payi maine iski parwah kiye bina 9-10 dhakke laga giye ab mera lund aaram se ander bahar.
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