Jan made a telephone call. I could not hear all that she was saying. A half-hour later, Ruth arrived to spend the night with me Ruth silently held me ...s I wept. There is no way I can go anywhere this morning. I do not know how I am going to deal with this. I do not know what I am going to say to Ken. I feel so ashamed and dirty. I played the roll of a slut and I became one? How could he forgive me? How can I forgive myself? Thursday October 30, 1980 Dear Diary: I could not bring myself to write. I took it , it was her panties. I read her lips , put them in your pocket she said. The rest of the meal all I could think of is what happened in that kitchen. The day seemed to drag on..I was wanting to go so I could find out what Tommy had done to her in there. After we ate we all the guys went into the den and started watching football and all the ladies cleared off the table. My wife was right in there just like a good little wife , laughing with the ladies and acting like she hadn't. While Ajay was at his office the next day, he received a call, another call from Vasanta.“Ajay?”“Vasanta? ”“I want to say this thing to you, Ajay. Yesterday night, you were very supportive of me. It was so sweet of you. No one comforted me in the past days as you did. I want to say thanks to you for the night before.”“Please Vasanta. You are my friend. That is the least I can do.”“You may say so. But that’s not how the world is today. That’s why I want to thank you for another dinner.”“O No. If. Within five years the madam of the establishment had left, Gwendolyn owned the house, and the ladies all worked for her. She still had select clients who paid well to remain in her favor. It was clear that I had been allowed to taste of a rare fruit, so to speak. Until she returned the next Friday I would often look at her photograph. Then visualize what I would achieve on the canvas. And I would masturbate, remembering her. Wondering what would happen the next time. "Hello, Lorenzo. Let's get.
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