On the other hand, the monster within, born of the anger and despair that I had tried so hard to control since discovering her cheating and the subseq...ent divorce, was again trying to overwhelm me. I had fought so hard to push it down and subdue it over the months, and now it was close to breaking free once again.I sat up, waited until a slight wave of dizziness passed, and then got to my feet, realising with surprise that I felt pretty good. Shana must have cleaned up the spilt soup at some. She’ll text and tell me what she’s doing. When she wants to. I can only reply. She tells me in a voice that brooks no argument, to lie naked in our bed and wait for her, and be awake at whatever time she comes home.When she uses that voice, she’s in control. Controlling everything; what she does, where she goes, who she’s with, how long she’s out for. And she controls my orgasm. I can do nothing except obey her. It’s what I want. And what she loves.I wash her hair and body in the shower. I lie. "Ruth lifted her eyes at the reverence that had crept into Regan's voice."He had no idea I was even alive," Regan said, missing Ruth's look. "I was just like the other freshman girls. I did anything I could think of to get him to notice me. He never did. I mean, he spoke to me once and I almost melted but I was a kid. He was dating college girls. His family was big in politics. I think his dad was a lawyer or something and his grandfather sat in the assembly. He was hanging out with girls from. I obeyed. She put that thong in my mouth.Beena: Oh, my big boy. Do you want me to tell you something?Me: Yes.I mumbled through the panty in my mouth.Beena: Remember when you went to the washroom in between the first special class? You were taking too long, so I came to check on you and all I hear was you moaning my name and masturbating.Remember that day I was sweaty when you returned? I had to rush back before you came out from the washroom. The same day I gave you a problem to solve and went.
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